May 31, 2009

Definition of a Perfecto...According to Dr. Phil McGraw

"These people have taken it upon themselves to be perfect, unlike the rest of us.  They present this objective as though it were a virture.  They have to be perfect.  In fact, their "mission statement: is characterized by arrogance and condescension.  They don't expect you to be perfect, only themselves.  Ergo, they are way better than you:  'You can be flawed, whil I must be pristine perfect.'  But because there is no perfection, these people are constantly frustrated.  They never, ever reach their standard.  Although their days are characterized by constant, unrealistic self-degradation and little joy, they brag, 'I am a perfectionist.' The world says, 'Get a life.'"  

Perfecto is one of the styles of engagement Dr. Phil outlines in his book, Life Strategies.  He mentioned over 20 styles, but the Perfecto describes me most.  No matter what I do or accomplish, I seem to never be satisfied with my performance.  I'm always looking for more or better.  I don't necessarily think this is totally negative in that it does provide for serious motivation.  However, being comfortable in your own skin and satisfied with who you are is even more important than striving to be the best at things that may bring artificial or surface success.

Best wishes

Before the end of the year, I will....

Build a stronger relationship with the Lord
Lose over 40 pounds
Reduce my credit card debt by 50%
Transition to natural hair
Read 10 books
Leave the state of Virginia twice
Work on opening up more (making myself more vulnerable and less distant)

First Post...A New Beginning!!!

Wow!  This is a new venture for own blog!  I'm starting this blog because I believe that writing can be both therapeutic and a vehicle for change.  I am currently seeking to undergo many changes in life; hence the title, "The Changing Perfecto."  I will let go of my need to "appear" perfect while letting my physical and financial health spiral out of control.  I will gain control of the areas of my life that matter the most.  This will be my journey.  Change is hard.  But I am ready.  This is my time, finally.  I know, I know...I've been saying this for a long time.  But I feel it in my spirit that this time is different.  Several incidents throughout this past year has reminded and encouraged me that I do NEED to change.  I've been warned about my weight by an influential professor, hit rock bottom financially (I'm still techniqually at rock bottom), and I'm currently taking a wonderful counseling class where positive change is encouraged and supported.  The truth is...I want to be free.  Being fat and owing more than what I possess feels like living in a mental prison.  I'm ready to break out!